Resilience is defined as the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens. Recently a young woman told me that she knows she falls down a lot but she always gets back up. This is resilience! And I know this young woman well enough to know that she gets back up stronger than she was before the fall. Are you strengthened by adversity? How do you bounce back after challenges? Resilient people share characteristics that all of us can learn and practice. Here are a few things to consider adding to your life skills. Many of these practices can become a part of your life in peaceful times; then you can lean into them more during difficult times.
Connect. Actively create a network of people you enjoy and with whom you can share fun and recreation. As you get to know people relationships deepen and become more sharing and caring. If you are going through tough times, consider one of the many support groups, both online and in person, for all kinds of issues. Strengthen ties with family, friends, colleagues and neighbors. Create communities of people who show up for each other.
Be flexible. Know that there are few true securities and guarantees in life. Go with the flow, roll with the punches and know when to ask for help. This isn’t about acting like nothing bad happened or stoically stuffing emotions. It’s more an attitude of gentleness as you deal with what needs to be dealt with, feel what needs to be felt, accept the reality of the situation, and give yourself time to heal.
Practice the Serenity Prayer. Accept what you cannot change, change what you can, and learn to know the difference. We leak energy when we resist that which we can do nothing about AND when we try to change things we have no power or control over. Getting clear on what is within your power.
Attitude. Begin to observe and catch your thoughts. If your automatic thinking is filled with negativity, you may have some serious victim thought patterns. Meditation, energy work, and counseling can help you to recognize, accept, and break up negative thinking.
Let your connections, flexibility, acceptance, and attitude be your guides when turmoil tests your resilience. With patience and practice you can bounce back!